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npm help still ignores ComSpec

What I Wanted to Do

NPM help npm

What Happened Instead

10 error path cmd
11 error code ENOENT
12 error errno ENOENT
13 error syscall spawn cmd
14 error enoent spawn cmd ENOENT

Reproduction Steps

NPM help npm

Details

Supposedly already fixed (#5267), but nah

Platform Info

$ npm --versions
  npm: '5.8.0',
  ares: '1.10.1-DEV',
  cldr: '32.0',
  http_parser: '2.8.0',
  icu: '60.1',
  modules: '57',
  nghttp2: '1.25.0',
  node: '8.11.1',
  openssl: '1.0.2o',
  tz: '2017c',
  unicode: '10.0',
  uv: '1.19.1',
  v8: '6.2.414.50',
  zlib: '1.2.11'
$ node -p process.platform
win32